I’m feeling inspired to pass some time by finally writing again. It’s been awhile, I know. I haven’t been in the mood, or I’ve been too caught up with other things, or work… and sometimes I guess I’ve just got to wait for the specific kind of inspiration to hit me before it feels right, or comfortable, to sit down and try and make sense of anything that’s happening inside my head. 

I’m sitting here at the wooden dining table of two of my dear, dear (and hilarious) friends, Henry and Maari, who have asked me to babysit for them tonight while they host their comedy event downtown. I’ve just put their two adorable children to bed, both without any issues whatsoever. Their boy is turning 8 years old in two days, and he is brimming with anticipation (naturally) about his upcoming birthday party and all of the butterflies that such an exciting day brings. His little sister is 4 years old and she is quite possibly an angel sent directly from heaven, full of such sweetness and joy and light, dimples and all. 

I arrived earlier around 6pm during their dinner time (chicken nuggies [+honey], french fries [+ketchup], fresh pea pods, apples, and grape tomatoes) and was immediately welcomed with the same warmth I remember fondly from the last time I was in this beautiful house of theirs. I love everything about how this place feels, how it is decorated, the heart and the soul and the creativity and the ALIVE-ness that is oozing from every corner and on every wall. If I could describe it simply, it feels like a house that could be straight from a different era — from my own childhood. It feels nostalgic and cozy and like a happy family’s home. The wood, the colors of the walls, the artwork, the framed photos, the piano, the plants, the china cabinet. It’s all so perfectly kept, it’s really a wonderful treat getting to be here. There's even a piece of my art hanging on their wall, which made me so happy to see.. It's a shadow-box of mini tarot cards that I printed onto some thin wood and sealed years ago and until I saw it today I'd forgotten that I made it. But the walls are full of things like this - things you can tell are from friends or from past shows or from some distant memory that deserves a frame, and it just feels good to look around and be among the history. I’m guessing that’s why the inspiration has hit.

I brought some miniature canvases that I picked up from the Five Below earlier today, along with some acrylic paint. I didn’t realize that each little canvas came with its very own miniature easel, so that was a huge plus when we opened the package earlier. We started our evening by painting some pictures for Henry and Maari to come home to, and I’ve got them all displayed like a miniature art exhibition on the countertop for when they walk in the door. After our painting session, we decided to have a movie night and all sat on the couch and ate Luigi’s Italian ice (mango flavored) and laughed together at the newest Spongebob movie. After Italian ice we had pretzels. Then it was bedtime for the little ones — both immediately picked out their own PJs and dressed themselves, then proceeded to complete their nightly teeth brushing/flossing/rinsing routine without batting an eyelash. Such an easy babysitting gig, the kids are just so well behaved and so polite and so sweet…not surprised, really, considering how wonderful their parents are.

Now I’m enjoying some alone time in the quiet of the house, I can hear the ticking clock on the wall and the neighbors next door hanging outside, laughing. I’ve got about another hour and a half before I head home myself, and I’m looking forward to having tomorrow off to spend with my sweet Lucille. I got to play the piano earlier while the kids were painting, and that was a special treat. I am always grateful when I get to sit at a piano. No matter how old or how new or what size or how out of tune, it is always just a pleasure to sit and play a piano. This one sounds fantastic and seems to be very well kept, and the acoustics of the room really help it sing. The kids said they liked my song and that made me smile.

I've been in my own world for these past couple of weeks. If I'm being completely honest, I think I've been a bit down, not like my usual self. Trying to really keep my head above water in some ways, working when I can, saving money for bills and rent and the usual things that are required to keep the lights on and to keep food in our bellies. I get myself into these moods where I really feel the loneliness, the solitude sometimes hits me hard when I least expect it. I do my best to channel it into creative efforts, but sometimes even that leaves me feeling empty. I know this is just a part of being alive, and I'm beginning to feel more and more like this last little 'down' swing was more like a clearing out of old energies than anything else. The last breaths of an old way of thinking and living coming up for release once and for all. I'm done feeling down, I refuse anymore. I don't like it, and I know I'm strong enough to shift my perspective when I sit with my higher mind and allow these feelings to be observed and then let go.

I took a trip to Atlanta for three days a couple of weeks ago, and that was a nice treat. I really didn't have any plans, just felt called to go. It was nice, I got a beautiful air bnb for Lucille and I with a yard. I rented a car. I stayed close to downtown and went to a free show at Five Points and caught a couple of songs by Puddles the Clown (Pity Party) in celebration of Criminal Records 35th birthday. It was nice to try some new food, and the thrift stores in Atlanta are some of the best. Overall, it was a delightfully uneventful vacation, but the change of scenery and the drive itself served its purpose and gave me a good bit of time to reflect on things.

There's a lot that I want to achieve and that I see myself doing in this life, and I just know that better days are coming. I have to remind myself, at times, when I find myself feeling down on current circumstances, wishing things were different or feeling like I'm not doing enough or living enough or creating enough change in my life, to pause and be grateful for where I currently am. Despite the many things I still am moving toward, and the dreams and the hopes I keep alive, it's important to note how far I've come already. I'm proud of myself for navigating this past year -- its been a full year now -- since I signed my lease last September. I hate to bring it up again and again, but getting over such a serious relationship and navigating such a drastic lifestyle change in and of itself is not an easy task, but I've managed to do it and have also continued to create throughout its entirety. I'm very grateful for that, and I know that as things settle and continue to improve and change I will also continue to create and make more of what I love to make for myself (and some of the world) to enjoy. It's just a beautiful thing to be a human being and to be alive and to remind ourselves that we are doing a good job, even when (or especially when) there isn't many witnesses around to validate that fact for you. I'm doing my best to love myself through it all and I feel like I'm doing a good job. And through it all, my heart is open and my hope is alive, and I'm patiently and excitedly looking forward to the day I get to share myself with someone. I'm such a romantic and I'm such a lover, I wish I could say that I'd be happy on my own forever, but alas -- I long for love -- the kind that movies are made about. I believe in it too. Goosebumps as I think on it now............

I’m adding some uploads of a few of the cover songs that I’ve gotten close to the ‘finish’ line for this upcoming ‘Covers Volume 1’ EP.. it’s actually turned out better than I had initially imagined. I can see the progress I’ve been making with recording on my little laptop, keeping at it. I started covering songs a couple months ago just as a way to stoke the embers and keep the creative juices flowing, but I ended up getting so much out of it. 

I really like how these songs sound and I hope someone else out there will too. Either way, it doesn’t make much sense to keep them all to myself.. so I figure I’d release them, despite them sounding far from ‘perfect’. I’m trying my darndest to clean up the  ‘home recording feel’ as best I can and then running them through a simple ‘mastering’ software so that there is some reliability on how they will sound across different devices when they start streaming. My plan is to finish the lot of 12 (maybe 13) songs up by tomorrow and SEND. THEM. OUT.

Here’s a list of the tracklisting (not yet in any particular order) — 

• All the World is Green (Tom Waits)

• Falling Out of Love for the First Time (The Strokes)

• Good Days (SZA)

• Share One for the Road (Tim Heidecker)

• Hey Lover (Blake Mills)

• I Need Your Love (Toots & the Maytals — wrote a 2nd & 3rd verse so I’m now titling this ‘Toots Got a New Brain’)

• Close My Eyes (Arthur Russell)

• Une Histoire De Plage (Brigitte Bardot)

• Doll (Willy James)

• Trudy Dies (Will Oldham)

• Biggest Lie (Elliott Smith)

• Tomorrow is a Long Time (Bob Dylan)

• Johnny & Mary (Robert Palmer)

  
  

I’ve tried to rearrange this list a hundred times to figure out the best order for the songs, but still have yet to figure out how to arrange them. I suppose it inevitably does not matter in the slightest, or surely not as much as it once did, when albums were ‘put on’ and absorbed from start to finish. Everyone listens to things differently now. A part of me thinks there is still some importance to song order, or at least an opportunity to convey a deeper meaning or a broader message, but I’m going to try and detach a bit and remind myself that no one else will dissect the order of the songs as much as I will, and because of that I can really put them in whatever order I like and it will all probably end up being received the same way. 

I’ll leave you with 3 songs for now— All the World is Green (Tom Waits), Johnny & Mary (Robert Palmer), and Good Days (SZA). The rest will soon follow. 

I love you...and that is abso-lute-ly for certain. Go off king.

In dreams,

Jenna Faline