JENNA FALINE

I'm writing from Durham, got in yesterday evening around 8 or so. It was a lovely drive, took it slow and easy and stopped a few times to relieve the girl and myself. There was perfect weather and beautiful music, and it went by quickly. I'm so used to traveling to Richmond to see my mama each time I go on a trip in the car, which is a 6.5 hr drive. The fact that this one was only 4.5 hrs made it automatically feel like it was zooming by. The Airbnb is gorgeous and I arrived to find my brother already waiting there, he helped me with getting all my stuff unpacked and brought up to the apartment which was so helpful! It would have taken me several trips without him and I was able to park the car in the nearby parking garage where I'll keep it until I leave tomorrow. Everything is within walking distance so I'll be on foot for the remainder of my trip here.

Sitting here at a place called The New World Cafe in Durham NC. It' right on the corner of a city street, there's a bunch of trains that are going by, I walked here from my Airbnb (ab 7 min walk). The weather is quite perfect. The sun is shining, wispy clouds in the sky. There's a little bit of a breeze. I just ate a bacon egg and cheddar on an everything bagel and downed a quadruple espresso.. still working on my iced latte now. I slept like a dream last night. There was such a magical feeling in the room, surprised at how quiet this building is that I'm staying in. There are several floors, I'm on the second, and neighbors on either side, but for some reason I think the high ceilings and brick stifle the sound transfer. It's so peaceful and serene and Lucille didn't have much to bark at.

She was howling when I left her this morning.. always so hard to hear when I first leave, she gets a bit of separation anxiety but I know she settles once a little time passes. She's such a good girl and I'm so lucky to have her!

I think I might take a walk around the city today, might go in search of a thrift store or record shop, would love to see what's around here. Need to grab a shower and refresh myself too. I just tossed a sweater and some jeans on this morning and left for coffee because I needed to wake up. Also need to find where the theatre is at some point so I know where I'm headed tonight. I'm very excited for the show later!

I've been keeping track of my travels so far by doing a video diary sort of thing that I've been posting to my instagram story. I'm saving all the videos as I go and at the end of the trip I'll edit them all into a single video and post that somewhere on here. It's fun and new and different from anything I've ever really done as far as keeping track of my days, so I'm having fun talking to an imaginary audience. Hopefully somebody out there enjoys watching it. I know it's fun having something to do so I'll keep it up.

Ok I'm having trouble focusing on writing and I'm struggling to find things to really say at the moment. Not sure where the day will take me but I'm eager to find out. I have a feeling there's some magic waiting for me around the corner..

Talk soon and I love you.

Jenna Faline

Been getting back into making playlists and it's been making me so happy! I've got a running list of songs that I've been collecting since late January, (close to 330 now?), a little bit of everything that has come across my path these past two months and made me feel a certain way..Been saving songs as I come across them, one by one, to a playlist on my personal Spotify profile (I know spotify sucks). I'm linking the full playlist, which I'm still adding to everyday, right here. My apologies if you don't use spotify, maybe some day I'll remake the playlist on apple too, or just write it out as a list. I need to try and sort it maybe, or find a way to categorize within it, but I like to see it all in chronological order. It makes perfect sense to me, but it might be a little random for an outside listener. It's like a snapshot of time passing and record of beautiful things unfolding day to day. Music is such a crazy wonderful way to communicate and keep record, maybe the best. Send me any songs or albums or artists I should listen to by filling out the form at the bottom of the page here. I love getting recommendations and I promise I will listen. Getting ready to go to NC tomorrow, very excited and giddy! Got my laundry going again now, my little suitcase out, Lucille's provisions prepared, and I'm putting together some songs for myself to listen to while we drive up. Shouldn't be too long of a trip, only takes about 4 hours from here. Plan on leaving right around 11am, since I can't check into my Airbnb until 3pm. Also send me any recommendations of places to go while I'm in Durham, if anyone knows the area and has some good recommendations. I quit drinking a couple years ago, not really because of anything other than it keeping me in a low vibration, and I since just haven't picked it back up because I rarely go out. Anyway, I have had a couple glasses of champagne with mama and a glass of wine last time I visited her. I think it's a lovely thing to indulge in during vacation, or when the time is right, so I'm open to hearing of any nice bars or restaurants I should go to. Or thrift stores! Or places I can buy tarot decks! I've got all of Monday free and open until showtime that night, and I'll just be kicking rocks by myself in the heart of Durham, looking for things to get into. So thank you in advance if you know of any good ideas.

Today was maybe one of the best weather days I've ever SEEN! It was windy and bright and the perfect temperature. I did a lot of stretching and sunbathing and listening to music outside, painted my toesies and did my nails yesterday, made some drawings, teased the girl a bit by kicking her ball around with her, she's been wild as FUCK. Must be sensing my energy some. Full moon is on the rise, coming April 2nd I think. Everything is so FULL of life and potential and possibility, it's just wonderful. Spring time is my favorite time of year and I'm so happy I'm feeling the newness. And I just love a good windy day, makes me feel like there's magic afoot!

I got the house all clean, had the windows open all day to bring some of that good air indoors so it's feeling nice and fresh inside too. I love coming home after a trip to a clean house that feels welcoming and refreshing and ready to be taken and enjoyed.

I hope anyone reading this is having a wonderful day and knows how loved they are. Someone suggested I make a vlog of my little trip, and I really like that idea, so I may take some videos along the way and put something together when I get back. It's fun making stuff and keeping records of days that pass. I'm grateful for the suggestion.

I'll likely update on here too while I'm away. Have a wonderful series of moments between when you're reading this and then. Send me stuff! I want it.

White toes, blue nails, green everything.

I'm excited about you and I love YOU!

Jenna Faline

Today was beautiful. Quick and easy. Got some laundry done and some fresh sheets on the bed, still waiting on another load at the moment. Didn't have much school work to do so that was kind of a nice break.

Spent a lot of time in meditation today, so I feel a bit foggy but in a soothing and comforting way. Like my monkey brain has been turned off, and now I'm kinda just coasting on a steady, level frequency. Been daydreaming all day on the possibilities of tomorrow.

Are we really able to shift our worlds, alter our trajectories, change the course of EVERYTHING by simply embodying the frequency we wish to be in? Is it that simple?! Surely we have not been told the whole truth about how powerful our mind and our body and our energy truly are. Quite possibly the most difficult thing though, to wrangle your focus. I can see why it's such a hot commodity in this day and age. What you focus on is what you create.. it's not even a matter of attracting or 'learning' how to manifest.

We all have been manifesting everything we've ever seen or been or lived this entire time, we are BORN masters. But the trick may be more about learning awareness-- understanding the power of our consciousness and separating our daily thoughts from our subconscious mind. Not taking ownership of the things we can't help but 'worry' about. Not 'trying' to bring in or attract or become anything, but learning HOW to surrender to the notion that everything in the external world is a direct reflection of our consciousness. We already have it all, we are it all, there is nothing outside of our own brain. We are it. I mean 'we' as individuals and a collective. I am that.

We have the ability to imagine ANYTHING, every feeling we could possibly dream up. Every scenario. Every outcome. Feeling loved, feeling worthy, having this, being that, feeling wealthy, feeling broken, feeling safe. Those are only feelings which come from thoughts, feelings that have synergistically fused with our thinking mind, and have brought those things into existence in the external world as a reflection of that energy. So the shifts happen by not just 'thinking' positively, but by connecting the head to the heart. Thinking something, then FEELING it as if it were true. Not in the future, not in some visualized scenario, but RIGHT now. Now is all there truly is.

That is where the magic is, maybe. Learning to control what is being brought into existence by shedding the things we don't want, NOW, and focusing ONLY on the feelings we wish to embody. If we do this often and deep enough, there is no choice that the external world has BUT to match exactly that frequency. Not 'in divine timing', not in some far off future, after tedious work and tasks and affirmations etc. have all been checked off, but immediately. It's all here for us, we just have to train ourselves to think higher and remain aware of what we are feeling as often as we can; what frequency are we transmitting across the Universe, right now? And then in the next 'right now'? And then in the next.. and the next..

It seems so simple but it's the most incredibly profound and difficult thing to wrap my head around. So strange and so intriguing to me. These are some of the things that came up today in meditation.

Some screenshots I grabbed when the algo (me) was fuckin'

The world around us is just like a mirror. If you stand in front of it with a frown on your face, you don't try and fix the mirror first. You understand that if you just smile, the reflection will smile back. Everything is so magical and mystical and I'm so impressed by us all the time. And I'm also very excited.

I love you and I'll see you tomorrow.

Jenna Faline

It's Wednesday! I woke up yesterday to see that I've got some new subscribers! Needless to say I was elated and I'm very grateful to those who have signed up so far. I sent out a welcome newsletter email with some info on what to expect and when. Bear with me while I get your Members Only section finished and updated with all the goodies. THANK YOU! I'm getting closer to getting everything up under the portfolio section. My brother sent me some very old songs, I'm guessing from maybe 2012 or so, that I hadn't heard in forever. I added those today. You can listen to them here at the bottom of the music section. You can also download them below.

Calling these three little demos Kokomo EP

It's weird when you hear a song of yours that you don't really remember writing or recording or singing, and then the words sometimes resonate with things you're currently or recently going through. It's almost like time isn't linear or sequential like everyone pretends it is, huh????? 😏 Grateful to my brother for being so good at keeping track of things and hanging onto files, etc.. I think all the time of how much stuff I've lost over the years to dying phones or laptops or four tracks. But it's ok.

I took my car to the Kia Dealership and it's looking like it will be needing a new wheel bearing. Luckily it's fully covered but it wouldn't have been done in time for my trip this weekend so I set up an appointment instead for next week. I rented a car through Turo (which I recommend if you ever need to rent a car, so much cheaper and you don't have to talk to anyone you just go pick up the car at a pre-determined location.. kind of like an Airbnb for vehicles). Ended up getting the same make and model of my car, but in silver lol.

I can hardly wait to be inside of you, Silvergirl. I decided to leave a day earlier to maybe meet up with my brother for a little while on Sunday. He's got a new job he's starting on Monday! My Airbnb is booked for two nights, it's a really nice loft style building with high ceilings and a nice little back porch in the heart of Durham, right next to the theatre I'll be going to on Monday night. Lucille is ecstatic, she loves taking trips with me and I love showing her the world. It's all shaping up to look very nice. I'm excited for a moment away and some long-awaited playtime. Who knows what kind of fun I'll sink my teeth into while I'm there? We shall see. I'll be working more on the Cowboy video today, it's been taking so long because I've been doing animation over the video file, and animation takes forever. But it's ok because it's fun and I like it. I'll also be thinking more on what song I'll be releasing next, still have 8 singles left to do from this recording session before this 'project' is complete. Been writing some new-new songs too, and I'm very excited to flesh those out in the near future. I hope you're having a beautiful day so far and I'm sending you such goodness. I'll be back with more soon.

I love you more every day.

Jenna Faline

Today has been very productive, but VERY tedious! I've been toiling over getting this site updated for the past week it seems, and although it's been an arduous process, I've learned SO MUCH and I finally feel like I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

With the last version of the site and the way it was set up, I was having to manually enter each and every update, rearranging all the pieces of each page individually each time I had a new song or video and FUCK! I really shot myself in the foot when building it the first time so I knew I would have to do an overhaul on everything-- and low and behold-- it's nearly there now. After having done a little research about CMS and how to properly incorporate it into the design, I finally have a handle on how to keep things flowing so, again, FUCK!

Anyway, it's nearing 10pm now and I have yet to eat a THING other than two squares of sharp cheddar cheese and a handful of salted cashews with my coffee + Laird creamer this morning. I plan on making myself a quick salad with banana peppers and jalapeños and cherry tomatoes and feta. Lucille ate her dinny, she had some fresh pulled rotisserie chickyyy with some canned peas and carrots and a little sprinkle of shredded cheddar cheeeeese. She loved it and I'm happy to see her eat.

She's the fucking cutest.

I have one class left that I'm taking online this semester--(even though I technically didn't need the credits to finish my Associate's)-- I went ahead and enrolled for Spanish 102 so that I could keep my financial aid for another couple of months. It's been absolutely crucial in helping us keep the lights on and keeping us both fed as best I can. Plus, taking a language class online is one of the least demanding things you can do if you've got the kind of free time that I have. It helps me to have something to focus on outside of my own bullshit, so I suppose it's been more of a blessing than a hindrance to my well-being at the moment. Anyway, I've got some quick assignments due by midnight tonight that I'll work on as I eat my salad, if I do in fact end up willing myself to make it lol.

I think tomorrow or Wednesday I'll go to the Community Thrift Store, my favorite place in the whole world. I'm not looking for anything in particular, but that's usually when I find the best things. My mama is in search of any kind of sturdy and aesthetically pleasing frames I can find to hold her beautiful watercolors, so I'll be on the lookout for some good ones. I'm also going to take my car in to get serviced at the Kia Dealership at some point this week because it's still under warranty and I'm going out of town next week for a show in Durham, NC. Looking forward to it more than I can really express, need a good time and a good laugh and some good energy. Been working so hard, with so many irons in the fire, at times it seems like I'm all alone in a world of my own.. which I don't typically mind, but a girl needs to unwind from time to time.

This is technically the first entry in this new section of the site that I'm probably most excited about. Not sure who, if anyone, will really be into reading my ramblings but I'm thoroughly enjoying doing it so I suppose that's all that really matters anyhow. I hope to add to the blog as often as I can, and we'll see if it catches on. If you're reading this, thank you and hi! I appreciate your eyes.

I was talking to mama on the phone today about the changes I've been observing in the backyard over these past two months. The growth, the green, the gradual but inevitable way that nature transitions from one season into another, and how it happens simultaneously 1) seemingly under all of our noses and 2) right in front of our eyes. On my birthday, the first of February, there was snow on the ground and not a leaf to be found on any of the branches of the big backyard tree.

Backyard tree in February.

Backyard tree earlier today (my foot for size reference).

Every day since then (my bday) I've sat outside under the sun. I take my coffee in the morning and I walk out to the wooden bench that sits under this HUGE tree (oak?) and I just sit there for hours- I meditate, I listen to music & podcasts, I read a little, I write a little, I paint a little, but mostly I just sit. I get to really think. I get to really feel into my own body and just be and- God, it's such an incredible privilege and blessing to be able to do that at this point right now in my life. I don't know how long it will be like this, but for now it's working out to truly be a period of growth for me both spiritually and emotionally and physically and in all the ways.

I've been thinking back on the amount of shit that has changed since this time last year, and it seems like I was living an ENTIRELY different life. I was a different person, in another time and place, with other people and other days filled with totally different things and sights and sounds and creature comforts and foods and everything and just WOW. It's insane sometimes how life throws you curve balls and you have to pivot without knowing what the fuck you're gonna do. My heart felt broken, my mind felt broken, my world felt like it was completely pulled out from under me- kinda like that trick people do with the tablecloth where you pull it out and everything stays standing and people clap in amazement- except this time all the glasses shattered and all the food fell to the floor haha.

No, I shouldn't say that, I've had ample support and love and I've been blessed beyond measure throughout this whole transition but nonetheless, it's not easy changing, it's not easy being a part of an ending to a relationship with someone you expected to spend the rest of your life with, it's not easy moving, it's not easy going from being a part of a family unit to being totally isolated, it's not easy going back to school or starting a business or pursuing a music career, it's NOT FUCKING EASY BEING ALIVE! We all know this. We all do. I have it better than most, even when I was at my lowest and I never lost sight of that. Still don't. I'm amazed sometimes at how resilient we all can be when we trust ourselves and we keep going despite whatever bullshit or tribulations we're presented with. When the will is strong, the way is clear. And it's possible, and quite likely, that the pain and the struggle are turning out to be what's shaping me into the best version of myself I've been yet. I'm proud of myself and I'm proud of Lucille for sticking with me and going through all the adjustments with a spirit that is just so infectious and beautiful. She plays with her ball while I sit under the trees, and we both smile all day and listen out for birds. I can honestly say that at this very moment I'm truly happy. Just with myself and sweet Lucille and this little moment in time we've built after enduring one hell of a storm.

Just like I was talking about with my mama, at some point nature takes over, and change happens almost as if by magic. Things turn around. New life springs from dead wood, and all the world is green again.

I love you.

Jenna Faline